06 June, 2012

These Words Must Go.

There are several words that are like nails on a chalk board to me. Depending on the word, I cringe, shudder, roll my eyes, or lose all faith in humanity when I hear it. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. The links below prove it. If you could ban a word from the English language, what would it be?

Here are my suggestions:

  • "Expresso." I hear people (usually those who are trying to appear sophicsticated by ordering a "fancy coffee") use this when referring to this delicious, caffeine-infused latte ingredient. It's espresso ( e-spres-oh), people! The word is derived from the Italian word for pressed coffee. Hence the "press" part of "espresso." Next time you are ordering your tall, skinny, half-caff, sugar-free vanilla, no foam, extra hot latte you want two shots of espressso not expresso. Your baristas and your friends will be slightly less irritated by your ridiculous order.
  • "Allegedly."Use of this word is rampant in the news to avoid criminalizing someone involved in whatever tomfoolery drew the media's attention to them in the first place. It's used so much that it has become a total cliche and completely meaningless. When a news reporter is relaying a story and says someone "allegedly" did something, do you really hear the word "allegedly" and think "well, they might not be guilty..."? No. No, you don't.  "The man allegedly killed his girlfriend because she allegedly burned dinner again. She was alleged to be a poor cook and housekeeper and he had allegedly had enough." Next time you're watching the news or reading an aritcle about an alleged crime that has allegedly been committed by an alleged suspect, observe how many times "allegedly" or "alleged" is (over)used and you, too, will be annoyed. 
  • "Moist." Ew. Just. Ew. Moist makes me think of damp (this word isn't much better now what I think about it) nether-regions and it just sounds kind of gross. Think about it. Moist. Say it to yourself. Moist. It is probably not the best word to describe cake, soil, underwear, or the weather. Most people agree with this sentiment. When you Google "moist is a gross word" this is what you get.
  • "Panties." There is nothing sexy about this word. When I hear "panties" I think more of this than this. What woman says she needs new panties and can keep a straight face? "Honey, I need to hit the Vicki's Secret, I'm in dire need of some new panties." No. I don't care what you call them, just don't call them panties any more. It sounds pervy and you may need to register as a sex offender if you are overheard by the wrong people. Drawers, knickers, underwear, undies, or even small clothes are preferable. No more panties.
Let us all use these words in a sentence one last time and then vow to never use them again.

She allegedly drank expresso in her moist panties.

2 comments:

  1. <3 Thanks for that. I'm going to rinse with Listerine now. :) But really, thanks for the comment. It give me a warm fuzzy that someone actually read my blog.

    ReplyDelete